


Delilah

by TangerineSnippet



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Angst, DadSpy, Dadspy eventually, F/F, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mildly smutty maybe, Oh boy lotsa angst, Slow To Update, mild homophobia, this is my first attempt at a fic don’t kill me please
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:42:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28746399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TangerineSnippet/pseuds/TangerineSnippet
Summary: Miss Pauling decides to come about to the team about being a lesbian. Scout doesn’t take this so well.——This is my first serious attempt at a fic, so sorry if it’s not very good lol. Also sorry if it doesn’t update often, i get writer’s block very frequently lmaoOh and one more thing! If the formatting is shit, again I’m really sorry but I’m writing this from a google doc and copy/pasting it to ao3 so if the formatting is shitty then that’s mostly ao3’s fault lol
Relationships: Administrator/Miss Pauling (Team Fortress 2), Demoman/Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Engineer/Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Heavy/Medic (Team Fortress 2), Medic/Scout (Team Fortress 2)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 46





	1. She’s a Lady

“Alright, everything seems to be in order.”  
Miss Pauling was checking through her checklist, making sure all the supplies were in order. She checked off the final box on her list, and sighed with an air of satisfaction. She walked down the hallway, satisfied her work was finally finished, when a large gloved hand suddenly yanked her into the open door she was walking by.  
“Hey what-” she blurted, before being stopped by a hand slapping against the door she was leaning on. The hand was none other than Medic’s, his face curled into a seductive smirk.  
“Good evening, Miss Pauling,” he said, walking over to the operating table and grazing it with his fingers.  
“It’s two in the afternoon, Medic,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Did you need something?”  
“Oh, nozhing, just vanted to offer you a little vine.” he had laid out two wine glasses, one already filled with blood red wine. “Red or white?”  
Miss Pauling chuckled. “Um, white I guess?” She watched with confusion as he poured the white wine into the empty glass. “What is this all about?”  
“Nozhing, honestly! Just relax, have a glass viz me!”  
Miss Pauling raised her eyebrow at this, but decided to go along with it. She sat with Medic, clinking their glasses together. “This is rather lovely,” she said. “But I have a feeling you have something to tell me. Friends don’t just give friends wine without a special occasion.”  
She had sung this song and danced this dance so many times before. Men trying to play at her heart, but they always failed. Why it was always her, Pauling didn’t know, but there was clearly something about her that made her a special sight to any man laying eyes on her.  
“Scheiße, you’ve caught me,” Medic laughed lightly, raising his hands for a second as if he was being arrested. “Vell, you see, I’m performing an experiment-”  
“If it involves stuffing Scout with dead rabbits again, I’m not signing off on it.”  
“Nein, nein! It’s much more… tame. You see, I’m curious about somezhing. I have been curious if homosexuality is present anyvhere on our team!”  
Miss Pauling spat out her wine. “Excuse me?!”  
Medic laughed. “Vell, haven’t you ever gotten curious?”  
Miss Pauling gulped. “Will the Administrator be receiving the results?”  
Medic gave a small hum. “Not sure. If she cares so much, I’ll be happy to send zhem in. Now, tell me, vhat are your thoughts towards ozher vomen?”  
Miss Pauling was backed against the wall, Medic’s intimidating grin piercing her eyes. She gulped, before noticing the syringe gun on the table next to her. “Say, you ever consider filling those syringes with anything?”  
“Ja, as of late I’ve been filling zhem viz tranquilizer! But we’re getting off topic, Pauling,” he said, stepping closer.  
“Well, to tell the truth,” she said with a sigh, “My thoughts on women are- Archimedes! What are you doing up there?” Medic turned around, expecting to see Archimedes doing something wrong, only to receive a syringe full of tranquilizer in his neck. He fell forward, his eyes rolling back and his body slamming to the floor limp. Miss Pauling nudged him a bit with her foot, sighing of relief when he didn’t stir. Feeling bad, she moved the wine glasses, lifted him up and laid him on the surgical table. “Gute Nacht,” she said, using what little German knowledge she had picked up from Medic as she walked out the door delicately.

“I need a rest after that,” Pauling muttered under her breath, walking back to her room in a rush. She opened her door and walked in, leaning against it in a tired state. Suddenly, she was startled by a muffled voice saying what resembled a “hello”. It was Pyro, sitting on the bed and waiting for a bedtime story. She must’ve walked into Pyro’s room by accident.  
“Pyro, bud, I’m sorry but I’m a bit tired for a bedtime story. maybe tomorrow night!” Pyro seemed to scowl at this, crossing their arms and pouting. Pauling sighed. “Fine,” She rolled her eyes and got up, sitting next to Pyro on the bed. She took the book, and began reading. “Once upon a time, there was a princess…”

“...And then, she and the prince burned the village down in a cruel and unforgiving act of sadism. The end!” Pyro clapped with joy as Miss Pauling closed the book. “Alright, goodnight buddy.”  
Pyro made a few more muffled sounds, sounding like, “When will you find your prince to burn villages with?”  
Miss Pauling paused at this. Could she tell them? Nobody but a few people on the team could understand Pyro’s speech fluently anyway, but that didn’t mean those few people who understood wouldn’t spread it around. But deep down, Pauling felt that they were trustworthy, and that under their burning desire (quite literally) to set things of fire, they had a pretty big heart. She drew a deep breath, and made the biggest decision she’d ever made.  
“Pyro, I’m a lesbian,” she said. Pyro cocked their head, so she decided to elaborate. “That… that means I don’t like men. I like women. That means I won’t have a prince.” Pyro nodded, and opened the book again, scribbling longer hair on the prince in the picture. They pointed at it, making a noise signalling, “like this?” Miss Pauling nodded, and Pyro clapped their hands for getting something right. They gave her a hug, a sign of acceptance Pauling was more than grateful for. “Thanks Pyro, I knew you’d understand.” She got up and walked to the door, opening it. Before she left, she said, “Good night Pyro, sleep tight!” Pyro muffled happily in reply, and Miss Pauling closed the door with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know how frequently I’ll update this, so don’t expect this fic to have frequent updates. However, whenever I do get inspired and if everyone likes it, I’ll probably write more!


	2. I Can’t Break the News to Myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: gonna save you some time and say that the Russian during the heavy segment means thank you

“Gotcha, ya wanker.”  
Sniper was up early, doing his usual target practice on some unsuspecting birds. He often didn’t expect anyone but an enemy spy to enter his nest, so as soon as he heard the creak of a floorboard, he whipped around with his kukri at the ready.  
“Bloody spy-”  
“Hey, it’s just me! No need for that!”  
Miss Pauling held her hands up, smiling nervously.  
Sniper lowered his weapon. “Aw, bloody hell Miss Pauling. What’re you doing up so early? And what’re you doing up here?”  
“Wanted to talk to you about something kind of important.”  
“Alright, mate. I’m all ears.”  
Miss Pauling drew a deep breath. “Okay… so um… what would you do if… let’s say one of your teammates was gay. Would you accept them?”  
Sniper paused for a moment. “Why’re you asking me this?”  
“I don’t know, I just… it popped into my mind and it’s been burning in my chest for a while now.”  
“...Well, there’s only one obvious answer: you accept them. So, yes, I’d accept them. I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t,” Sniper said, adjusting his hat. “Been sleeping with blokes for a while now.”  
“Oh really? Well, that’s good to hear I’m not alone in the closet,” Miss Pauling chuckled.  
“Well, welcome to the closet, Pauling. It’s cramped here.”  
“Oh trust me, I’ve been here long enough to know.”

~

Miss Pauling knocked on Demoman’s door, hoping for a swift reply. Sure enough, a typical drunk Demoman answered the knock. He opened the door, drunk enough to have a less than enthusiastic greeting but just sober enough to recognize who was at the door.

“Oh, Miss Pauling! What’re you doing here? It’s…” Demoman looked back at the clock, squinting his eye at it. He couldn’t read it, so he just made up a time. “It’s four thirty in the morning!”  
Miss Pauling rolled her eyes. “It’s six, but nice effort. Listen, I’ve got to talk to you.”  
Demoman smiled warmly. “Well come on in, make yourself at home.”

Now, Miss Pauling assumed this would be easy. She had been dropping some hints for some time now, but never outright said anything. Demoman didn’t seem like the type to hate someone for something so small, but you could never be sure. 

“Demoman, I have to tell you something kind of important-”  
“Wait-” Demoman hiccuped. “Let me take a guess. You stole my sock. I had a feeling ya did-”  
“No, Demo, I didn’t steal your sock. I’m-”  
“You ate the sandwich I left in the fridge! Listen, if you were hungry, ya could’ve just said so-”  
“No no, that’s not it either,” Pauling said, exhausted. “I’m a lesbian. That’s what I wanted to tell you.”  
Silence. A long, awkward silence.  
Suddenly, a realization.  
“...Ohhhh! I get it! Ya like the lassies, don’t ya? Well, who wouldn’t? I love ‘em too, although I don’t mind a lad every now and again…”  
Miss Pauling smiled and hugged the Scotsman. “I knew you’d understand.”  
“Aww, well of course! Anything for ya, just say the word!”  
Miss Pauling sniffed a bit. “Thanks.”

~

Next on the checklist was Soldier. Pauling was worried about how he would take the news, but she swallowed her fears and hoped for the best.  
Soldier was patrolling the area for any spies. However, he was doing so by hitting any nearby object that moved with his shovel and shouting “SPY!” in hopes that he’d hit one. Cautiously, as to avoid a shovel to the face, Miss Pauling approached the overzealous American with a tap on the shoulder.

“SPY- Oh. Why, hello Miss Pauling!”  
“Hi! I have to talk to you, it’s kind of important.”  
“Was it a spy? Tell me where you saw him, I’ll grind him into a pulp and make a fine lemonade out of his ass!”  
“No, no! That’s not it at all! I just wanted to come out about-”  
“Come out? YOU’RE GAY?!”  
Miss Pauling gulped. “...Y-yes, yes I am.”  
Soldier looked at her like a deer in headlights. She tapped her foot anxiously awaiting some sort of reply while Soldier scratched his chin in confusion. 

“I see…” he said, finally breaking the silence. “Well, congratulations on your homosexuality! I am proud to know such a wonderfully homosexual young lady! Now come here!” He yanked her into a tight hug, roughly rubbing her head with a free hand.  
Miss Pauling could barely contain her tears. “You… you really mean it?”  
“Of course I mean it! Now go out there and enjoy your homosexuality!” Soldier saluted her, and rocket jumped away to patrol other areas of the base.

~

Heavy was busy polishing Sasha, when a knock rapped at his door. He waited a minute, before finally saying, “Come in.”  
Miss Pauling entered, gently closing the door behind her. “Hey.”  
“Is good to see you,” Heavy said as he stopped cleaning his beloved minigun.  
“Good to see you too. I… I just wanted to tell you something.”  
Heavy looked confused. “Is there problem?”  
“Well… not really. I just wanted to let you know I’m-”  
“Homosexual? I am aware. I had feeling in gut. You show no interest in man,” Heavy said. Miss Pauling nodded nervously, pressing her fingers together and looking down at the floor.  
Heavy stood up from the table finally. His tall, ominous figure intimidating Pauling. Slowly, Heavy approached her with open arms, and wrapped them around her.  
“Is okay,” he said. “I am homosexual like you. We must stick together, da?”  
Miss Pauling nodded. “Yeah, stick together…” she wiped away a tear, sniffing a little.  
They hugged in silence for a little bit, the silence wrapping itself around them. Heavy pulled away from the hug, clearing his throat. He looked away, as if deep in thought, before looking back at Miss Pauling.  
“Medic,” he finally spoke.  
Miss Pauling looked up at him. “Medic? What about him?”  
“I love him. He has done much for me, as I have done for him. Nobody see what I see in doctor. But I cannot tell. He will… not understand.”  
Miss Pauling breathed in, looking at Heavy pitifully. “I won’t tell anyone. Like you said, we have to stick together.”  
Heavy smiled. “Спасибо.”

~

Miss Pauling knocked on the doorframe of Engineer’s workshop. A soft, southern voice called, “come in!” as she stepped into the room. Pyro was sitting on the workbench table, and waved as soon as they saw her walk through the door.

“Well, Howdy,” Engineer said in his usual amiable tone. He paused his work and stood up. “I was just fixing up some sentries, making some usual tweaks and whatnot. Pyro’s been my little helper all throughout,” he said as he gave Pyro a small pat on the back as they presumably smiled under their gas mask.

“Ah, lovely. How’s the sentry repairs coming along?”  
“Oh, smooth as butter, Miss Pauling. Everything’s been going simply swell!”  
“Oh, it is? Damn, I hate to kill your mood but…”  
“But…?”  
Miss Pauling looked away. “I… I kinda sorta have something to tell you. I’ve been slowly telling everyone about this, telling them over the course of a week but…”  
The Texan looked over to Pyro. He scratched his chin a bit, then looked back at Miss Pauling. He removed his goggles, then put his hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes with a gentle look on his face. 

“Listen, if you’re gay, I completely accept you and love you for who are. It’s sad to me that we live in a world where people like you— people like us— have to live day by day with a secret as heavy as that. And the hatred we expect to face when we finally release that secret from the bird cages of our hearts… it just ain’t right. But hey, if that’s not what you’re gonna say, sorry for assuming that. What were you gonna say?”

“...y-you… you basically hit the nail on the head,” Miss Pauling finally managed to say. “But how?”  
“Well, Pyro’s been blabbering on about it the whole time he’s been here!” Engineer chuckled. “He’s had all sorts of questions all about it!”

Miss Pauling turned around to glare at Pyro, but they already seemed like they regretted everything. Pyro looked like a sad puppy who didn’t understand what they’d done wrong. She softened up and reluctantly gave Pyro a hug.  
“You’re lucky it was Engineer, Pyro,” Miss Pauling said, rolling her eyes. “If you’d told Scout, this would be an entirely different story!”  
Engineer laughed. “Oh boy, if it had been Scout…”  
“Yeah, that would’ve been bad.”  
“Speaking of which, when do you plan on telling him?”  
“Not for a while, I don’t think. Besides, I have one other person to tell first.”

~

Miss Pauling stood on the balcony, staring at the sunset. She had told Spy to meet her, but he hadn’t shown up yet.  
‘Maybe I’m just not important enough…’ she thought, but shook it off.  
“He probably doesn’t mean to be this late… hopefully he didn’t forget…”

“Bonjour, madmoiselle.”

“GAH!” Miss Pauling whipped around to see none other than Spy himself, snickering away. “Jesus Christ, don’t scare me like that!”

Spy snickered. “My apologies, but I could not resist. Anyway, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“I need to ask you something. What are your opinions on, oh I don’t know, homosexuality?”

“Well, I’d be a hypocrite if I hated zhem.”

“...What do you mean?”

“I used to hate zhem. I couldn’t understand it. But zhen, I began to understand it a little more when I… well, let’s just say I participated in some cross faction tomfoolery. It was only zhen zhat I began to understand homosexuality. I saw in a new light, a new perspective if you will.”

“So… if I were a lesbian, you wouldn’t think I was a totally disgusting piece of shit who should burn in the fiery pits of Hell?”

Spy glanced at Miss Pauling as if she were crazy. “Zhat’s oddly specific, it’s almost as if you’re a lesbian… wait a second, you are, aren’t you?”

“Wow! How’d you guess?” Miss Pauling chuckled nervously.

“...I can smell zhe sarcasm in your breath, Pauling.” Spy took another drag of his cigarette. “You know, I had a feeling you were a lesbian all zhis time. I don’t know why, it was just a hunch I’ve had for a while now. I’ve known about some of my colleagues’ sexual relations with each other, but I had yet to hear about your interests. Seems like our entire team is full of homosexuals!”

Miss Pauling and Spy chuckled. 

“Yeah, except Scout! Speaking of which, can you not tell him please? He doesn’t know and I… I need some time before I tell him.”

“Well, it’s not the first time I’ve kept something from Scout.”

The air between them was silent. The only noise that was heard was a light breeze that blew through the sunset air. Miss Pauling looked at Spy confused, but could not find the words to voice her confusion. Spy realized this, and he pulled out his disguise kit and opened it up. He pushed the cigarettes aside to reveal a family photo of a man, a woman, and a small child. They all appeared to be smiling, except for the child, who was pouting stubbornly. Miss Pauling’s confusion faded at the grim reminder.

“Oh, right…” She sighed, handing the cigarette case back to Spy. Spy looked solemnly into the sunset, tucking the case back into his suit.  
“...You ever gonna tell him?” Miss Pauling asked. 

“To be honest, mon ami? I don’t know.” Spy extinguished his cigarette on the wooden railing of the balcony. “I want to so badly, you have no idea. But on zhe other hand… he’ll probably hate me for the rest of his life. I mean, it’d be understandable, I was gone for most of his life. I missed all his games, I missed everything. But it couldn’t be helped! My job is too dangerous, I couldn’t be in his life even if I wanted to.”

“But don’t you think he can handle himself now? I mean, you’ve seen him on the battlefield.”

“He can handle himself, but he can’t handle the truth.”

“Well, if you let him down gently I’m sure things will go better than you expect!”

“But what if it doesn’t? What if he looks at me with nothing but spite for the rest of his life?”

“I know that feeling. Believe me, I wanna tell him I’m a lesbian, I don’t want him asking me out anymore. And it’s not that he’s not a nice guy, I think he’s a great guy! I really don’t want to hurt him at all, but sometimes things just need to come out. He’s a good kid, and a strong one at that. He’s stronger than you think, Spy. Give it a shot, I’ll be behind you every step of the way.”

Spy sniffed. “Merci, Pauling.”

“You’re welcome. Now go get some rest, okay? You need some time to think on what you’re gonna say.”

The two headed inside, both satisfied with the direction the conversation had taken. However, somebody had overheard them, and they were particularly excited about the snippets of the conversation that they heard.


End file.
